Coming Into Your Own

I am a Human Resource Business Partner at one of the leading Banks. Next to this, I am a published author, a single mother, a law student, and now, I have joined the digital revolution and am a budding new blogger. I have high ambitions for my life, and am fairly well accomplished for the path that I have set for myself. With all this said, and all this in mind, there are still quite a few hurdles that I often meet. And when I do, my journey can become a bit overwhelming, and also a bit lonely which can interrupt my focus.

So, what exactly am I talking about here?

I am talking about being superwoman. I mean, I know that it sounds a bit exaggerated – I am no Michelle Obama. I don’t run the free world in perfect posture and then help millions of children lose weight in a fun and exciting manner on the side. I don’t go to gym and I do not spend some of my time on talk shows like Ellen where I have to be fun and relatable, but just enough so that I am still taken seriously in discussions of policy and politics. We are worlds apart, Michele Obama and I, but still I am superwoman. I am Miriam and I am superwoman.

I am Miriam who spends 40 hours a week in a highly demanding and high pressured environment where the best results are required of me at every request.  I am Miriam who comes home after those 40 hours every week, to make sure that my daughter is feeling happy, well adjusted, or even sad in a nurturing and comforting environment that tries to let her know that she is safe to be herself at all times. I am Miriam who, while doing that, makes the time to write my books, get them published and marketed in the right places, while I am excelling at obtaining the law degree that I have yearned for a very long time. I am Miriam who has to do all of these things day in and out, minute by minute, all by myself, without taking a beat. I am Miriam and I am a superwoman – no question mark.

But here is the thing with superwomen or superbeings; they get tired and lonely and a little bit afraid and then sometimes they isolate – they hibernate and need to go back into their caves. They lose fuel and energy and sometimes they ask questions, hard questions, about their purpose and about their direction. And when that happens, what do they do? 

Pause.

If you have gotten to this point in the article, it is clear that you too know that you are superwoman or a superbeing. You recognise yourself in this blabber of superwomen and superbeings so you must know the hardships of this journey; its ups and downs and the curve balls that swing you out of balance every now and again. For you, I want to let you know that you are not alone. And that what you have felt at this point is valid and is okay. I know this because I have felt it and I am thriving through it.

So, as my first contribution to your journey and your development by this blog, I have put together a few pointers that have aided me in creating a balanced and highly energised environment for my ambitions. I hope that these might be helpful for you too.

Un-pause.  So, this is what we superbeings do to refuel and stay on course:

1.Build a network:

The thing about working in big corporates, and in the creative field is one comes to learn important lessons about building networks – coming together with like-minded people for the achievement of your individual and/or collective goals. These are people we can relate with and lean on while we figure out the best way to stay above the water and ahead of the margins at the same time. Your network is like your board or your tribe. They are your go to people for your “Congratulations” and your “We regret to inform you” and anything else in between.

As you can imagine, these are very sensitive relationships. It is therefore paramount that you pick your companions with care. Choose wisely and distinctively who to share what with. Always go to where you will receive the most support and appreciation for your idea. That environment will bolster you and move you to improve throughout the deadlines and duration of your objectives.

2. Expand your network

Meet new people, but like your existing network, be as diligent and discerning as possible in choosing your people (remember that you are building your dream and dreams are sacred so, choose your company purposefully). Inviting a positive new influencer into your life can be one of the most significant decisions that you will make in accomplishing your goals.

3. Reinvest in yourself

I have an 8-5 job which is my main source of income.  From this income, I extract funds which I reinvest in seeing to my other ambitions i.e. my studies, brand architecture and publishing; which in turn creates more business opportunities for me. If you have a similar set-up, consider each of your jobs or obligations as businesses that are part of a holding company, and let each business help the other business where it can.

4. Simply just make the time

Do everything you need to do at equal proportion and with the same level of commitment. When you simply make the time to see to what is important, you will feel less overwhelmed. As you are working on what you need to work on, you will feel like things are moving in a certain direction and that often helps to swing one back into rhythm.

5. Commit and don’t look back.

My level of commitment to the outcomes I seek is very high. I don’t get deterred easily, I am focused, and I dream wild and almost to the extent of the impossible. I don’t get discouraged from failing. I have started so many projects which I have failed in. I have lost so much money, but the most important thing is that I learned from my failures and moved on, carrying those lessons along with me.

I pride myself in never looking back at what could have been. There is just no reason to wonder and wish for things to have turned out different. I believe they turned out exactly the way they should have.

6. DO NOT downplay your successes!

If you’ve put in the work, you deserve each and every bit of success. Many of us tend to downplay our efforts and achievements out of modesty or a fear of sounding too pompous about our success, but it’s time that we, especially as women, celebrate our successes and prioritize them. Say ‘NO’ to anything that interrupts your success as much as you can. And in that same breath say ‘NO’ to anything that deprioritizes your success or asks of you to downplay it.

7. Don’t get too comfortable.

Comfort zones are very dangerous! No one knows your true capability but you, and no one will ever know until you push yourself to the utmost best. Associate yourself, with individuals who are better than you at what you’re attempting to do, and don’t be intimidated by them. Gain from what they do.

8. Don’t give up

There will be obstructions and constraints – this is simply a reality. But learn to accept that any deterrent can be survived. Be straightforward and practical with yourself, and then from all you have learned, apply innovation and keep going.

As a superwoman or superbeing your success and ambitions are of utmost importance to you. It is therefore imperative that you create a super environment wherein you can thrive exceptionally well. This means looking inward and outward in creating and building a space that is conducive for you to thrive in.

“At times our purpose falls in our laps, as if the heavens threw it by accident. Do not fear failure, but please be terrified of regret!”